Well, it’s official. We have been MATCHED!!!
And, it’s my favorite story of all time. That is, until baby GIRL makes her grand appearance.
The news of our match, was incredible news in and of itself, but it was delivered in the most special, and memorable way possible. Let me tell you…
So, rewind about 3 weeks. Kevin and I had officially started being “presented” to birthmoms, and were actively waiting to be matched. SUCH a hard wait. SO hard to trust that God is in control when you are waiting. But, at the same time, that’s the ONLY thing you CAN take comfort in. Knowing that God knows. And that He wastes NOTHING.
The first time we heard a birthmom selected another family, it hurt. And, I knew that it would. It feels so very personal. It makes you wonder why. And then you proceed to question if this is where God wants you to be. Maybe you’ve heard wrong. You then acknowledge you’re being dramatic, and then start the process all over again.
So, for about 2 1/2 weeks, I was constantly feeling a roller coaster of emotions. I know that isn’t very long, but it felt like forever. I was also neurotically carrying my phone around, and checking it. Waiting for news. But hoping it would only be good news that we would hear.
On April 17th, we received another case to consider. A baby girl due in August. The day before our 6th wedding anniversary to be exact. I sat at my desk at work, and got teary eyed. I figured it was because I was feeling all the feelings on this journey. We said yes. We were also presenting to a few other families. And waiting.
The week went on, and before I knew it, it was time to head out for the Choose Joy Conference. It’s funny, last year I went begrudgingly, and this year I couldn’t wait! Kevin was going to stay at home, and I drove down with my friend Jess. Not only was I excited for the conference, but also for a little vacation and quality girl-time. It was just what I needed.
We made it down to Southern California, and for the first time in the past few weeks, and probably longer, if I’m honest, I was PRESENT. I wasn’t thinking about presenting, or waiting for phone calls. I was in the moment. And it was refreshing.
The conference started on Friday {4.24.15}. Our friend Julie was a speaker, and took Jess and I to the luncheon beforehand. It was great to connect with people in a smaller setting. And, our adoption consultant Courtney was there too. So, I got to give her a big hug and chat with her. While we were chatting, her husband came up and asked her what time he was supposed to pick “that guy” up from the airport. She promptly told him to ask someone else. You’ll find out why later…
The rest of the afternoon quickly passed thanks to some perusing at Home Goods, and a trip to Starbucks to refuel. And, at 5 PM, the conference began.
Jess led me to seats in the back, which at first was confusing, but, they actually were great seats. So I didn’t ask any questions.
Emmy got up on stage and told her story, and why she has been compelled to host this conference, for the 3rd year in a row now. The tears had already started to flow at this point.
And then, Emmy brought Courtney up on stage to “tell a story.” Which was not unusual, as Courtney and her husband were the keynote speakers for the event. She went on to say that one of the couples that they were working with, had been matched and didn’t know it yet. And that they were there, at the conference.
My hands started sweating, and I felt this rush, like all of the blood had drained out of my body from my head down to my feet. I sat there, staring intently at Courtney. Probably looking like a crazy person. I was rapidly searching for EVERY SINGLE REASON why it wasn’t us. Because I didn’t want to be disappointed. So, immediately I clung to the word “couple,” and thought, it can’t be us, because Kevin isn’t even here. Obviously.
And then, I felt balloons brushing up against my back. I turned around and that’s when I saw Kevin standing there. With a bunch of PINK balloons. You see, unbeknownst to me, Emmy and Courtney (and the other wonderful Choose Joy Crew) arranged to have Kevin flown in. “That guy” Courtney’s husband was referring to WAS Kevin.
And then I saw my sister. And my brother and sister in law. And I started crying. I remember seeing them all nodding in assurance that this was real. Because it felt like a dream.
Kevin knelt down next to my seat and as he hugged me, he whispered that we had been matched. The birthmom due with a baby GIRL in AUGUST chose US. I was in shock. It didn’t feel real.
The moment that I stopped worrying about our adoption plan, was the very moment that it was revealed.
I felt so much joy, and so much peace in those moments.
And, as if that was the ONLY surprise (no big deal, right? hah), we were called up on stage along with Jess. Jess proceeded to talk about the church’s responsibility of walking alongside its congregation during times such as these. And to not be afraid to ask of your church. I wish I could remember more, but again, SHOCK. She then proceeded to present us with a framed print that had been signed by our church family, and a check for $5400 that had been raised by our church. Which we had ZERO clue about. This had been the plan all along, before they even knew we were going to be matched. AMAZING.
To have been given this INCREDIBLE, LIFE CHANGING news in this way was so beautiful. For Courtney to be able to deliver such good news in person, rather than over the phone, and for Emmy to be such a big part of it, was awesome. To have Jess, Kevin, my sister, and brother and sister in law there, was incredibly special. This was BEYOND anything I could have ever imagined. To be in a room surrounded by people, who you share a camaraderie with, who GET IT, was also special. I can’t really adequately put it into words. It makes me tearful just thinking about it. And to think, I thought I would be all alone in my office at work when I got a call. Ha. Ha. While our engagement was a huge surprise, this one takes the cake. I had ZERO CLUE the whole time. Which, made it all the more special.
Emmy, Courtney, and the whole Choose Joy Crew, THANK YOU. Thank you for every single moment of this. I can’t even.
Sara, THANK YOU for capturing these special moments so beautifully. They will soon be covering the walls of our home.
Hope Church, THANK YOU. We were, and still are, blown away by your love for us, and our baby, even before we knew of her.
Very simply put, our hearts are overflowing.
This WHOLE journey to date, has been unlike any other I’ve ever been on. EVER. I prefer to fly under the radar, mostly. I am a do-er, and I don’t like to ask for help. I also like things to go as planned. Like family planning, ahem. Yet, this whole journey has been ANYTHING but that. God has pulled us out into the light, for HIS glory, and not ours. To encourage us, and others. To show HIS goodness. No, I do not think that God made us walk this road, but I DO know that He has turned something so ugly and painful, into something so beautiful. As only He could.
It has been the most incredible thing, to see this story continue to unfold. God has given us so much peace. So much confirmation. So much Hope.
We cannot wait to meet our DAUGHTER this summer. I would walk this road again, just to get to her. Our hearts have been filled with so much love for baby girl, and her birthmom.
This verse. It holds a much deeper meaning to me these days. SO MUCH MORE.
If you had told me that private adoption was the way that we would be starting our family, I wouldn’t have believed you. I may have laughed at you on the inside. Because private adoption seemed impossible. And hello, foster care. That was the direction WE were planning. But God knew. He has been doing a MIGHTY WORK in our hearts and lives. Even when our hearts felt despair and uncertainty, God was there the whole time, whispering “keep going” because He knew that there was, and IS wonderful joy ahead. He has been placing people in our path over time, and weaving the details together so intricately. Because He is the God of details. Every single one of them. He is truly the BEST story writer because He loves us, and cares for us deeply.
I can’t wait to how the rest of our story unfolds.
Baby GIRL H, we love you so and can’t wait to meet you.